My Dad's Jokes are Punny, So Color Him Funny!: 101 hilarious cartoons

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A cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway. Police advise citizens to look out for a group of hardened criminals. The present may stink, but at least now we can look forward to a better yesterday.”– Fry in Futurama

A guy goes to the store to buy condoms… “Do you have a bag?”, the cashier inquired. “No,” the man replied, “she’s not really all that ugly.” When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look? Because when you find it, you stop looking. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan." READ THIS NEXT: 183 Jokes for Kids That Provide Good, Clean Fun. 101 Clean Jokes for the Nice and Wholesome A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Would you like anything?” The bear responds, “No, I’m stuffed.”A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. He just can't part with it. There was a wife who texted her husband a romantic message... She wrote: “I love you. If you wake up, send me your dreams. If you laugh, send me your smile. If you eat, send me a bite. If you drink, send me a sip. If you cry, send me your tears.” Then her husband texted: “I’m on the toilet, advice please.” How would you embarrass an archaeologist? Put a used tampon in his hand and ask him which period it came from! A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish. The salesman asks him, "Do you want an aquarium?" The guy responds, "I don't care what star sign it is!" Don’t do drugs, kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.”– Chef in South Park

How can a single egg be fertilized with 100 million sperm? Because they will not stop to get directions. How many times can you subtract 10 from 100? Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90. Two windmills are standing on a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other replies, "I'm a big metal fan." I'm not a fan of spring cleaning. Let's be honest, I'm not into summer, fall, or winter cleaning either. Get ready: Some of what's to come is quite punny. Some might even make your eyes roll. But, deep down, if we are honest, who doesn't smile at corny jokes? Others might even make you laugh so hard you cry, so don't say we didn't warn you. Many are one-liners so you can remember them to share and share again, and your kids can retell them to their friends too, maybe even years later. Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes!

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Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. Did the sex toy store employee say anything to the customers before closing for the night? There’s no time to waste! It’s time for you to beat it! You know Tom; I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that. Humor is widely seen as important in interpersonal relationships, but among leaders, it is seen as a helpful act. While some leaders use humor naturally, many others can use it for good. So here are some seriously funny jokes for you!